The Decision to Have a Third

Did my love of cloth diapering influence my decision to have a third baby? Hmmmm, is this something I want to admit? Was my first thought upon imagining a son after two girls that I would be able to buy so many boy-themed diapers? Maybe. Do I love cloth diapering so much that my option was to either delay potty training my daughter for 5 or so years or have another baby? Okay that’s going a bit far. My daughter is only 18 months old, so for better or worse she still has quite a bit of diapering time left in her, but the idea of retiring or giving away her stash is right up there with packing away her cutest clothes or most beloved toys. My love of mothering, cloth diapering included, made me realize that I might have had another go ‘round in me. I adore being a mother. I love nurturing my children, whether that means making sure they have the best on their bottoms or they’re exposed to the arts or they have a neck to burrow into when they’re sad or scared.

Actually it was when I first started cloth diapering her, around four or five months old that I started thinking about another baby. Of course the timing is probably coincidental, but it does make you wonder. We had emphatically declared that we were done at two children. Two was practical, manageable and even, dare I say, easy. I had two girls, which thrilled me to no end. Two sisters, awash in pink, that brought us so much love and happiness, who could dare to ask for more? But at about this five month mark I realized, I dared to ask for more. More of this love, this joy, this laughter, this chaos, this fluff. Oops, did I say that? Thinking that my husband would declare me nuts and start reminding me in gory detail about how much I loathe pregnancy (as I had instructed him to do if this ever happened) I sheepishly mentioned the idea. He shocked me by saying he had been thinking it too and hence began the destruction of our logical, perfect, well-thought-out plan of two children. Maybe the diapers had no direct influence, but I think they could have been a bit of red flag for me, a little heads-up that this mom thing hadn’t quite run its course with just these two runners on the track.

Of course I say this all with a bit of tongue in cheek, but with every joke there is a little truth, right? In the end I would say the diapers did play a role in my decision to have a third baby. Not in the sense that I couldn’t part with cloth diapering so I decided to have another child, but more in the sense that I realized just how much I love taking care of my children and how much I love being a mother. Every decision I make, every item I purchase, every activity I plan is all done in the best interests of my children. I take this role very seriously and I enjoy every living moment of it. The decision to have another child is a complex and personal one, made for so many different reasons. Quite simply for me, I love being a mother, I love watching my children grow and evolve and I love the life that my family has created around me. And yes, I love the fluff.

In essence, this is my coming-out to The Cloth Diaper Whisperer community that the newbie, who is no longer a newbie, is expecting. After much contemplation and decision-making we are thrilled that we will be a family of five. And as an update, at 14 weeks and still feeling awful with morning sickness, I still loathe pregnancy!

By Jennifer G.